Friday Happy Hour: Himmicane Joaquin Edition

The eastern seaboard is once again back to normal (if by “normal” you mean bracing for a potential Category 3 hurricane) after Pope Francis’ historic visit.  Two of the most notable stories to emerge were courtesy of Congressman Bob Brady and Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter.  Brady availed himself of a little holy water when he Bogarted the Pope’s discarded water glass, and was subsequently charged $3.94 for said glass. 

Nutter, on the other hand, went a little potty mouth on reporters after the Pope’s departure, accusing them of scaring the you-know-what out of everyone in the tristate area. Reporters responded by then scaring that very same thing out of everyone with coverage of Himmicane Joaquin.

Governor Wolf this week followed through on his threat to veto the GOP stopgap budget, once again calling on the General Assembly to negotiate a comprehensive spending/taxing/property tax cutting/school funding and partridge in a pear tree plan. After the veto was affixed, both sides got back to the table and started negotiating a….

Nah, just kidding. That last sentence didn’t really happen.  Instead, all interested parties jumped on Twitter and immediately began posting memes, slogans, graphs and pithy 140 character jabs at each other.  We are sure the Great Budget Tweet Battle of 2015 will go down in the state’s history books as a real high water mark.  #WhenWillThisEnd  

Depressing us even more was the announcement from Twitter that it may soon allow users to exceed the 140-character limit for messages, which means we will all be subjected to longer memes, pithy quotes and partisan jabs.  #200CharacterInsults

One local official from York County (as if enough of the central characters in this drama aren’t already from York County) suggested each side submit to mediation to come to an agreement.  Normally, we would laugh and dismiss this suggestion out of hand.  These are not normal times.  We say do it. #CallJudgeJudy

Instead of mediation, the GOP leadership shortly thereafter announced it will bring whatever taxing/spending plan Wolf chooses to a vote next week, and let the chips fall where they may. We may not be geniuses, but we think we have an idea where the chips are likely to fall.  It rhymes with “floor.” #SettingUpToFail

In an example of how surreal the whole budget debate has become, Governor Wolf’s proposal to hire a private manager to run the state’s liquor system was actually embraced by some members of the GOP until the state’s top booze union representative said he could maybe/sorta live with the plan, effectively scuttling it with liquor privatization supporters.  #ThereIsNoHope

The state this week released the results from the latest round of PSSA tests, and as expected, the scores were underwhelming. The most recent PSSAs were much more complex and difficult than previous versions, so even though a bunch of kids may have gotten grounded when scores arrived in mailboxes yesterday, we still have very little handle on the best way to gauge student achievement.  Next up: the results of the state Keystone Exams, and more grounded kids.

Today marks the end of National Manufacturing Week, and we were thrilled to learn that manufacturing produces around $79 billion in positive economic impact in our humble state. Even though we have no idea how one calculates such a lofty number, we are sure it is worth celebrating.  So in honor of NMW, we went home, built a bar, built some stools, sat down, poured ourselves a Sarsaparilla and toasted our manufacturing friends.  

An eight-foot long crack appeared in a girder underneath a bridge in York County this week.  Read that again.  EIGHT.  FOOT.  CRACK.  The bridge was immediately closed by PennDOT, but it gives us yet another reason to remind you that Congress still cannot figure out how to fund infrastructure in this country, and it has moved beyond shameful into downright terrifying.  

In other, more docile transportation news, we say Happy Birthday to the Pennsylvania Turnpike, which turned 75 years young this week.  After several hundred facelifts, the Pike doesn’t look a day over 25. 

Supporters of a $10.10 minimum wage this week convened in the Capitol Rotunda to announce they will try to force State Senate action on their legislation.  The day may soon come when Pennsylvania joins every surrounding state in raising the minimum wage.  Or the day may come when the General Assembly votes down a minimum wage increase.  Place your bets! 

And now, our Shameless Client Plug! Our friends at Pocono Raceway will host two NASCAR Sprint Cup races again next summer the weekends of June 3-5 and July 29-31. AND, as if that weren’t enough, the June festivities will include the very first NASCAR XFINITY Series race to be held at the Tricky Triangle.  AND AND Pocono Raceway CEO Brandon Igdalsky was also honored personally this week when the Northeastern Pennsylvania Alliance made him the keynote speaker of their annual dinner. The Triad Strategies team went up to Kalihari to support Brandon and can report that his speech was a hit with the big crowd.

Over on Triadvocate, our always pal and sometimes strategic partner Ron Klink, former congressman and now a senior policy adviser at Nelson Mullins Riley & Scarborough LLP, weighed in on the announced departure of U.S. House Speaker John Boehner.

Philadelphia City Paper will become the latest news outlet casualty next week when its new owner closes its doors. Broad Street Media, the new owner, is the parent company of Philadelphia Weekly.

For our We Can’t Make This Up feature, a Florida woman was arrested after calling 9-1-1 to report that the stash of pot she had purchased for $75 was a little light on the doobage. She was arrested and jailed, but her dealer skated because, while he may have shorted his customer, he gave her all that he had and was, therefore, not in possession of any illegal substance. Sometimes life’s just not fair.

And that’s what passes for news this week as we breathe a sigh of relief that Joaquin apparently will track too far eastward to cause much trouble here. So happy weekend, everyone, and we’ll be right back here next week with our own special brand of trouble.