Friday Happy Hour: Clumsy Devil Edition

The nation spent the week mourning the horrific events of El Paso and Dayton, and so once again our nation’s elected officials found themselves in the “what-to-do-about-it-all” debate. Up first was our own U.S. Sen. Pat Toomey, who again pledged to get his background check legislation moving. He was noticeably cooler to the idea of a ban on assault weapons.

At the state level, a powerful GOP state senator signaled she will begin to hold hearings this fall to come to an agreement on what Pennsylvania’s policy makers should or could be doing. Expect gun violence to immediately become the most-discussed topic in Harrisburg this fall.

And while we often focus on big-picture solutions around here, we should note that the recently established anonymous school safety tip line logged 23,000 calls this past year. It is tough to quantify how many lives were or could have been saved with this simple phone line.

But sadly, we also learned this week that Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto, a staunch gun-control advocate, has been the target of death threats in recent weeks. Because nothing says, “I deserve unlimited access to guns” like “and I’ll shoot you if you disagree.”

Last week, we brought to your attention yet another plan to eliminate property taxes in Pennsylvania, this time using a mix of taxes that includes a 4.9% tax on retirement income. As we expected, that idea is going over like a Sarah Silverman speech at a Trump rally.

Of course, we do this property tax dance each and every year because voters continually say that of all the taxes they pay, property taxes are the most hated. We learned this shocking news because somebody paid a pollster to ask the question. Really? We needed a poll? We wonder what people think about being forced to eat glass. All that aside, we will once again remind you that while nobody likes the property tax disease, nobody likes the cure either.

Speaking of taxes, Pennsylvania no longer has the highest gas tax in the nation, thanks to California’s recent bump in theirs. We are contractually obligated to remind everyone that, while Pennsylvania’s ranks second in the nation, we also divert a huge chunk each year to the State Police budget. Thank you for that constant reminder, Senior Triad Consultant George Wolff.

The same poll that showed us how much people loathe property taxes also showed Joe Biden with a lead amongst Pennsylvania primary voters, although Elizabeth (I Have a Plan for That) Warren is pretty close behind. Seems like a direct challenge, Scranton! You gonna let her knock your favorite son off the perch?

Gov. Tom Wolf this week signed legislation into law that will enable foster children in Pennsylvania to go to college for free. Bernie Sanders reportedly called the governor to remind him that EVERYONE should have free tuition, not just foster children. Because Bernie is everywhere and he… hears… everything.

A bipartisan group of state lawmakers put everyone’s lives at risk by proposing to deregulate children’s lemonade stands. Seriously? You realize what those kids put in that stuff, right? Oh well, caveat emptor! Don’t call us when you end up drinking a mix of sugar and water from the nearest puddle. NOTE: this is actually an awesome idea. On behalf of all the young entrepreneurs out there, thanks!

This just in: Parx Casino in Bensalem has opened a snazzy new sports book, where all you E-A-G-L-E-S fans can go and bet your mortgage on the next preseason game.

Pennsylvania’s agriculture secretary did a little tour of the Commonwealth to tout his shiny, new PA Preferred Organics program. If you don’t think there is a big future in organic products, you obviously follow ZERO millennials on Twitter.

A group of lawmakers convened a meeting to discuss Pennsylvania’s woeful state of high-speed internet access in rural parts of the state. The meeting was not live-streamed because, well, see the first sentence.

On a totally unrelated note, our friends at Agile Networks announced that the firm been acquired by InSite Wireless, one of the country’s largest private operators of wireless communications infrastructure. Like we said, this is totally unrelated to Pennsylvania’s rural broadband challenges. At the moment.  

Our friends at Comcast this week announced a big expansion of its Internet Essentials program. After starting out offering Internet Essentials to families with children participating in the National School Lunch Program, Comcast expanded eligibility 11 times over the last eight years to include residents of public housing, low-income veterans and pilot programs for low-income seniors and community college students. Next up? All qualified low-income households in Comcast’s service area, literally doubling the number of people eligible to participate in the program. Congrats!

 In our We Can’t Make This Up segment this week, we take you to Edison, New Jersey, where a New Jersey Devils mascot ran through a glass window at a child’s birthday party. Pretty sure the kid would have settled for a picture or something. You’d never see Gritty doing anything that crazy.

That’s what passes for news around here as August rolls on, and we start dreaming of the return of the legislature. Ha! Just kidding. Nobody dreams of that, not even the legislature. From all your friends at Triad, have a great weekend!